I DON’T WANT TO ASK FOR HELP!

Students who are used to doing it on their own, successful through earlier years without tutors or coaches can really stall on getting help if, for some reason, their academics start to take a bit of a hit.

The “shoulds” take over: “I should just study harder. I should be able to do this.” The guilt: “I shouldn’t have xxx’ed, so I’ll just stop xxx-ing.” The fear: “What will my friends and family think if I ‘need’ help?” The fear: “Am I not smart enough to figure this out on my own?”

They attach stigma to getting help.

If this is  you, I’m going to ask you to stop and think of successful people you know. Did they do it without help? Politicians come to mind. But maybe you attach stigma to many of the politicians in the news right now—think of other successful people you know alive now or historically. Think of what you know of their biographies.

Musicians—the one-on-one mentor/teacher: Quinn Sullivan mentored by Buddy Guy and B.B. King. Angela Hewitt under Jean-Paul Sevilla.

Business—Employees who seek out mentors and coaches for their soft spots move more effectively toward their career goals.

Sports—Hockey players. Swimmers. Gymnasts. There is not an Olympic athlete who got there without a coach.

Let’s look at one athlete in particular. One whose career took a horrific tumble from the top of the top down to the probability of never being able to perform again. I choose this example because it is an example of how, when things go bad, I mean just plain awful, there is recovery.

You might have guessed I’m talking about Simone Biles. On her way to the top, and at the top, her support included her coaches. Always. Then suddenly, the twisties. She combined her determination with help from coaches, and you saw the rest.

May you not get the academic twisties. But if you do, it doesn’t have to be the end. Get a coach. Maybe me, maybe someone else. If you are having a minor setback, get a coach. You can always try it on, and decide it’s not for you, or try it and move on to someone else if that coach didn’t fit you (this is what musicians, business people, and athletes do). Or if you feel your academic performance could use a bit of polish, get a coach.

So if you are that student ashamed to go for help, just stop it. You are worth every advantage, and the right coaching for you will give you that advantage!

Of course, I speak as a coach. If I didn’t see the results, I wouldn’t be doing what I do.

Connect with me to plan the tools for meeting your academic goals this term [email protected]

The information in this blog cannot take the place of support from your own mental health professional or community health resources. Reach out to them. And IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS, PLEASE DIAL 911.