Mother’s Day
A pause and a shout out today to Mothers, after a year of parenting, of mothering in ways none of us planned for. I’m thinking in particular, because of what I do, of those of you who are combining schooling and parenting. Yes, fathers too–and Father’s Day is in just a few weeks.
The research coming in, however, shows that the COVID brunt of picking up daycare, picking up home schooling, along with reduced work hours and income, has fallen on women. Some have called it the shecession.
Today I’m taking my hat off to student Moms who have balanced term deadlines, studying, reading, exam schedules, group and class ZOOM sessions with child care, home schooling, getting adequate computers and WiFi set up and running for everyone, with the added burden of more home cooking, less outside help.
Maybe you’re a Mom who saw the youngest off to grade school or college September 2019, and it was going to be your turn for getting that Diploma, that Degree. And then: Lockdown. Home schooling. Anxious teenagers cut off from school and friends, needing more of that invisible net of parents in the background. Inadequate arrangements and supports for your child with special needs. The compounded challenges of single parenting combined with home schooling and earning enough to put bread on the table.
How you have done it, I do not know.
I hope that you and those you love have been safe. I hope you have had the support of your instructors and campuses in flexibility, in maybe reducing your course load even if it means adding on a term once COVID is more under control.
Please, be kind to yourself. Find a moment to put yourself first, even if it is after everyone is in bed, the dogs are asleep. Allow your tears, your frustration. And know that this will be over. There will be a new normal. Whether you have dropped a course, not got the grade, interrupted your program, not seen your children gain all you would have liked them to (and that last one is pretty average even in non-COVID times)–there will be a regrouping. It is a war, and armistice is on the horizon.
Your kids owe you, and are better off because of you. Society owes you, and will be better off because of you. But that’s not why you do it. You do it because you’re Mom.
And thank you.