The Waiting Game

Some of you are still writing exams, some of you are thinking about maybe getting ready for finals in June, some of you are gearing up for summer or spring classes, and some of you are finished exams for this term, and are waiting, waiting, waiting to see your grades.

I’m going to continue the thread of our last blogs, and specifically address the challenges of waiting to see how you did. 

So, waiting.

If you have three part-time jobs and two toddlers at home, you likely don’t have too much time to worry or stress out (except, of course, about all of the what-ifs that come to mind in these circumstances). 

Some of my clients have a great deal of discomfort during the time between writing the last exam, and getting the grades. This can interfere with job performance, sleep, patience with the partner and kids, sleep. It’s normal to worry. The key is not to eliminate the worry, but to manage it. 

COVID-19 can make it more difficult to manage worrying thoughts as our usual end-of-term distractions aren’t possible. But distancing has its benefits–you don’t have to listen to classmates coming up with the answers you wish you’d thought of, or to get into an echo chamber of post-exam dissatisfactions. 

Distancing has another advantage–you have time now to take on projects that are both rewarding and distracting. Right now, if you took a sheet of paper (real paper please), I bet you could list things that you’d always wanted to get around to–just list them. Pick one that you can get going on under current circumstances–it doesn’t even have to be one that you can get finished. Here are some that others have tackled: taking a keyboard course. Learning to code. Journaling for the first time. Learning to cook the perfect souffle. Connecting with relatives to flesh out the family history. Then pick the one that is easiest to get going on today–and one that feels like both a challenge and fun! Leave the “shoulds” for next term.

So. You’re in the middle of your challenging project, but your mind keeps going back to the land of scary “what if . ,. .”  This is where your other list comes to play: healthy, immediate distractors. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. Email someone you haven’t connected with recently. Make up a game. Paint the kitchen wall. Make your Christmas early. Be creative. Be safe. 

Write out your post-COVID wish list of things you want to do when this is all over. What is the first thing you want to do?

And take the secure thought: you got through this term! Regardless of your grades, you will get through the next term, one way or another!

Let me know what works for you in the waiting game [email protected]